A Thank You to My Candle Holders

“First day of the rest of your life…. You ready?!”

These words travelled 2440 miles through the air and landed on my phone at 6:35 am this morning.  “OMG I love you but what are you doing up?” I respond. “I’m working dude! Gotta get these images right!” comes back on the screen.

It’s 3:35 am in LA and my daughter, Jessie, (a new mother by the way) is still working on pictures for me. She’s relentless. Never stops. And I’m so lucky to have her in my life.

Publishing these two novels has been a roller coaster ride. I’m up. Down. And all around.  Putting your work out there is scary. And piecing everything together into a full-length novel? Terrifying. But I have Jessie and her brother and sister and father and you. I have you guys. You are the tracks beneath this roller coaster ride that has turned me sideways, upside down, and nearly ejected me from my seat.

My books are not perfect. But is anything in life?

I’ve been in love with words for decades. I read, write, rearrange, and loop them in and out of each other all day long. But I never really get the order perfect. There’s always a better way to say something.

Just this one time, though, I wish I could find the perfect words. For Jessie. And Jeff and Zak and Jilly. And for those of you who mean so much to me: Carol and Carolyn and Mary and Marie. For my unbelievably strong running friends Robin, Heather, Jan, LeAnn, and who did I miss? (Laura!!!) For new friends Jean and Christine, old friends Jody and Val, my great friends Teresa, Karen, and Linda, my sorta-aunt Penny, my Rose friends, reviewers, editors. AND to the large community of Facebook friends too wonderful yet too numerous to mention.  (And I’m sure I missed someone important because I’m exhausted.)

I’ve been a bear these past weeks and you’ve all put up with me, because, well, because you know I’m not perfect. So, thank you. Thank you from my soul. I’m blessed to have you in my life.

My books are out. I’m still alive. I’m finally an author.

What are those words? Oh, yeah, right. “Do not go gently into the night.”

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Cyndie “CJ” Zahner is an author.

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